Some More Thoughts

I’ve watched another three episodes of season 7 of Buffy. But I still feel like I’m not really committed.

Here’s why:

It’s not having the impact it should. I never put S7 at the top of my personal list of Buffy seasons but it wasn’t bottom either. And I defended it against those who thought it had lost the former glory. But watching these first 4 eps I’m struck by how not amazing they are. Not even sure they’re that good. They’re OK.

I think a lot of what I enjoyed about them before came from being immersed in the show and being a fan. So there are lines or character moments that you like because it’s such a Xander thing to say, or Anya’s being Anya. The throw-away funny lines aren’t quite as funny somehow.

Now my brain tries to tell me that a way to fix this is to re-watch earlier seasons. Maybe start at 6 or 5 or 4. So you build up that immersion again. Trouble is the further back you go the more well-worn they are. There are some – still I believe – truly great eps back there, but they’re also ones I’ve watch a lot. And if I really go back (to S1) I’m concerned I might trigger emotional memories of that time and to be honest… well my Buffy fandom was an escape from everything my life wasn’t at the time. I had run away from God and the church. I had no real friends (this was before Melissa). I was lonely.

Does that mean I’ll never re-visit the earlier seasons? Maybe. Maybe I will when even more time has passed.

Will I carry on with S7? I think so. For now. Ep 5 was a favourite when I first saw it. One of the few I watched a few times. It was also one with a lot of “fan service” in it. It’ll be interesting to see if it still has the same impact when my fanishness has waned.

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Buffy and All that TV

I just watched an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it made me want to say things on the internet.

For some reason I decided to do that here rather than Twitter and/or Facebook (I don’t use G+ much any more BTW).

First observation – disturbing – is that even though I was watching a later episode (S7, E01, Lessons) I worked out than I am older now than Giles (OK Tony Head the actor) was then. When do I get to be all wise and stuff?

The second, and longer, thing was about why I watched it (and whether I’ll continue).

I watched it because last night I watched one of the Youtube listicle videos – “Ten times a character ruined a TV show” or something – and it brought up a few old series I’d watched but never finished and Buffy. And even though I watched all of Buffy it feels like it belongs in this category as well because, well I read a tweet today where someone talked about having watched every episode so many times.

Well, I feel like I somehow let myself down as a fan because I haven’t re-watched the later seasons as much as the earlier ones. To be fair even though I watched the earlier ones a lot, I haven’t re-watched them in a long time. (Used to be I’d get drunk and end up watching favourite episodes, but that tends not to happen these days)

There are for example, large numbers of season 7 episodes I’ve only watched once. I know! The shame.

But then I began thinking.

Suppose you didn’t have much of a life, never really went out. You go to work, eat, sleep and do the minimum chores necessary to staying alive and you spend the rest of your time watching TV and movies, maybe read the occasional book*. Suppose you are happy with this state of affairs and not railing against the dying of the light to make a change before it’s too late. Even then you find you only have so much time. And we live in a golden age of TV so we’re told. And whether that’s really true, it’s certainly true that I have heard of many ‘good’ series I’d like to check out, and more are on the horizon (just watched a trailer for HBO’s West World show).

So even in this restricted, shut-in existence, there’s so much to spend my eyeball leisure time on. Do I really want to go back and watch Lost to the end? Am I up for spending the next few weeks re-watching Buffy from the beginning because my OCD-ish tendencies tell me I can’t just break in later?

Maybe. Maybe not. OK, almost certainly not in the case of Lost. I think/hope I’ve let that one go.

My current mode of TV watching is to binge watch. Usually on Netflix or other streaming service. So it sort of fits this pattern, and yet…

It is about letting go. Realising there’s more to life, heck more to TV, than being a completist.

But maybe I will “binge” on S7 Buffy so I can say I’ve watched all those eps at least twice. Or maybe I’ll skip the boring ones in the middle.

It’s funny, before I wrote this I looked back at the last few entries. Because it’s my blog and I haven’t written in it in a while. And one of the things that came out was the way I felt my love of reading rejuvenated by letting go of some of my obsessive tendencies re: reading.

I guess this is the same.

*if this sounds familiar it basically was my life until recently, and it has only got slightly more interesting since.

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Fight For Me (Every Day)

This occurred to me in the shower this morning…

Possibly a couple of years ago, after I’d started going to church again but not immediately, I was reading the story of Moses from Exodus. I’d “had this thing about Moses” since my days in Newcastle i.e. it speaks to me, possibly because I expect it to.

Anyway I got to the part of the story where the Israelites have left Egypt but not crossed the Red Sea yet. Pharoah sends troops after them and they become trapped. We have this:

Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14v13&14)

So for about a year I used to pray some variation of this most days. I would say “Fight for me God.” I would name my enemies, things like fear, lack of faith, etc.

I gave up eventually. Maybe I got disillusioned. Or maybe I just forgot. I used other prayers.

It occurred to me this morning that it’s all very well to be “still” and wait for God to fight for you, but this incident occurs after they’ve left Egypt. They’ve already set out in the direction God is leading them. Only when they reach a barrier they can’t overcome naturally – in that direction – does God intervene spectacularly.

I think I never left Egypt.

A wise friend asked me a while back, when I was complaining about not knowing what I should do about faith etc, whether there was anything outstanding that God has told me to do that I haven’t yet done. I said no. I wasn’t deliberately being dishonest but there is one thing. But it’s so big, so seemingly unachievable that I didn’t think of it as a possibility, so I’d ruled it out almost before bringing it to mind.

The trouble is it doesn’t seem possible because I can see the obstacles, I can see the Red Sea sitting there blocking my path.

But maybe, just maybe, I need to move in that direction anyway and then see what God will do.

And as I’ve written this I looked up the verses above and seen the next one which is:

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.

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Quick Round Up

I’ve been challenged to write a blog post today by a friend – you know who you are! – but not sure what to write about so, I present to you a quick splurge about everything and nothing…


So far this year I’ve read only two books – Trust and The Magician’s Nephew. The former because I saw it in WHSmiths and though what the hey, and the later because someone mentioned Jadis and The Deplorable Word.

Trust – debut novel by the creator of TV show Cold Feet – was OK but not great – why do I keep reading books that fall in that category? Is it because I want an easy read and most easy reads aren’t very substantial?

The Magician’s Nephew is of course Narnia book #1, and I am a lot less inclined to read these books than I was when I was more of a GLE*. I was also very aware that it’s a kids book. A lot shorter than I remember. The Deplorable Word section is told in a spoken flashback which was less impressive than I remember. Still I enjoyed it but I am free of the desire to read the other 6.


So far this year I’ve watched Making a Murderer, Love and Better Call Saul S1 (and S2 has returned yay!). Also just caught up with Happy Valley S2.

Making a Murderer was fascinating (and righteously-anger-making) whilst I was watching it but it’s faded since then.

Better Call Saul was better on a second viewing I think, and it was good first time. Glad to see Kim and Jimmy becoming a thing in S2. Glad that Chuck’s still in the mix too. Breaking Bad was great, and I’ve watched the whole thing twice, but it becomes a bit of a grim slog toward the end. Better Call Saul has all the great elements that Breaking Bad had but with a lighter tone.

Happy Valley S1 was grim but gripping. S2 is equally gripping. Not sure about the flashbacks they’re using.


Haven’t done any writing for years. Have recently been thinking of it but then again it can cause my mind to take dark turns. (remember ‘Necropolis’?)


I could do with simplifying my life. Maybe get rid of some stuff. Also just make time to think about where I want to go and what I want to do with my life. I’m closing in on 50 I should have something figured out by now! 😉

Blogging or Whatever

Is this the best platform for my thoughts? I’ve heard in a couple of places recently that no-one really reads blogs any more, and that Twitter’s dying, Facebook is for oldies, so…?


I have a huge backlog. And yet I keep subscribing to new ones. To be fair, I’m getting better at listening to an episode or two and if I don’t like it then unsubscribing. I did have to recently offload part of my 200Gb podcast archive onto an external drive to make space on my PC.

Which reminds me, I’m thinking about getting a NAS or possibly a new PC, but then I’d need to get rid of some of the old ones I still have. See earlier re: simplification.

Oh and I have thought about making my own podcast, but does the world really need another one…?


As I write I’m listening to the Spotify playlist from Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo’s podcast. Since it’s merely a list of songs that have come up in conversation during the last few months of shows, it’s a bit eclectic, not to say random. Which is fun. I can put it on and be surprised.

Also, why don’t I listen to more music? It’s all podcasts, all the time, with me now.


Not sure if any of that is interesting but it’s real, true and it’s on my blog.

*Good Little Evangelical
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2015 Books – the Goodreads Version

Here’s my 2015 book-reading according to Goodreads. (You’ll see it includes short stories and comics)



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2015 Reading Round-up 4 – the Melissa Awards

Longest Book Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. A whopping 1024 pages. Probably the longest I’ve ever read.

Shortest Book: The Tiny Wife (80 pages) Unlike previous winners this is an actual book not a graphic novel.

Favourite Book: Station Eleven, which is new this year, and Rivers of London overall.

Worst Book: Touch – not terrible but it forced to me slog to the end.

Best Find/SurpriseWitches Abroad for a re-read that was better than originally. Station Eleven because I wasn’t expecting a “literary” SciFi book to be that good. But for a book not in another category Steelheart. I genuinely wasn’t sure what it’d be like and it was good.

Biggest DisappointmentTouch I expected more of given Harry August but I’ll give this to Turnabout. I expected to “get” the humour more.

Books to Donate to Charity: I think I only read one paper book which wasn’t a library book and that was How to be Good which I’ll keep. However consigned to the virtual Oxfam Shop is Something Wicked This Way Comes, because I didn’t enjoy it that much but someone else would.

Book it Took Me Longest to FinishSpace Captain Smith took 36 days, but that includes a pause and a re-start from the beginning.

Quickest ReadFunny Girl, Stainless Steel Rat Saves the World and Just One Damned Thing After Another all took under a day.

Most Satisfying Read: City of Stairs – because a) I read it a little bit a day at a time when I was struggling to read, b) it’s not in any other category and c) it’s good!

And finally… the category that in many ways defines these awards Book with the Most Anal Sexno winner. My reading habits must be getting tame in my old age!

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2015 Reading Round-up 3 – the Books

In the past I’ve written reviews as I’ve completed books. I think I want to go back to that. However since I haven’t done that this last year, I’ll have to do one in the style of my 2014 round-up.

(most of the links in this post are Amazon Affiliate links. I get a tiny amount if you follow them and eventually buy something. If you’d rather not then don’t use them and/or clear your cookies.)

All You Need is Kill – I actually did review so follow the link if you’re interested. Here I’ll just say I enjoyed it. 7/10.

Witches Abroad Terry Pratchett – re-read as part of an online book group. Pleasantly surprised as better than I had remembered. It has some excellent Granny Weatherwax moments and is a whole lot of fun. 8/10

Revival Stephen King – attracted by a new King novel that wasn’t a doorstop and slightly fooled by the cover I set out to read what I thought would be a tale of a tent-revivalist preacher with some sort of supernatural secret. In the end that was a small part of it and the real story was based on another meaning of “revival”. Overall it felt like the story was only a vehicle for King to indulge 1950s/60s nostalgia. 6/10

Who is Tom Ditto?, Danny Wallace – like his other novel Charlotte Street, this was a sort of rom-com based around a central high concept (which I won’t spoil). I was drawn in by the concept and engaged by the characters but it meandered a bit and the ending wasn’t as satisfying as I’d’ve liked. 7/10

Steelheart (Reckoners Book 1), Brandon Sanderson – story set in a world of super heroes where those with powers are the bad guys. I enjoyed it. 8/10.

Funny Girl, Nick Hornby – story of the rise to fame of a “British Lucille Ball” in the 60s. Actually it follows all the main protagonists in the making of a hit sitcom of the era – the writers, male star, producers. Readable and likeable. 8/10

We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves, Karen Joy Fowler – story about a family and some of the secrets it hides. It’s about what it means to be family and how we relate to each other and our past. It’s more than that, there’s a big “twist” I’m avoiding because honestly I didn’t know and I think it helped my enjoyed of the book. 7/10

The Sword of Rhiannon (aka The Sea-Kings of Mars), Leigh Brackett – short novella, written in the 50s in the style of classic 30s SciFi, a kind of Sword-and-Spaceship swashbuckle across ancient Mars. It was quite fun. 7/10

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, Susanna Clarke – a long novel about the re-discovery of “English magic” in the early 1800s. Actually enjoyed it a lot, despite the length. If I read it again I might avoid some of the footnotes! 8/10

City of Stairs, Robert Jackson Bennett – fantasy set in a world which used to have gods but they have apparently died. A foreign diplomat comes to the city of Bulikov to investigate a murder. A good thriller with an interesting world. 8/10

Something Wicked This Way Comes, Ray Bradbury – saw this at the library and thought I should finally read this classic. It’s a book I’m glad rather than enjoyed reading. The prose style threw me. I think it’s supposed to create an other-worldly atmosphere. I did enjoy the story though. 6/10

In the Unlikely Event, Judy Blume – in 1952/3 a small town in New Jersey suffered 3 air-crashes in a period of a few months. This is a fictionalised story of a few of the inhabitants of that town. I enjoyed it. 7/10

Turmabout, Thorne Smith – from a Kindle anthology of his novels, Thorne Smith is the guy who wrote the book Topper which was made into a film with Cary Grant. When I finally got around to reading one of them it was this sex-swap comedy. The premise appealed. However as well as being dated in terms of attitudes, which I’d expected, it was written with idioms and phrases which I didn’t get. Also the plot felt somewhat random. Not without some appeal but not great. 6/10

Station Eleven, Emily St. John Mandel – a pre-, during-, post-apocalyptic novel about a world-wide plague that wipes out 95% of humanity. This was a “literary” SciFi novel and those are often dodgy but this I really enjoyed. It moves around in time a lot but I was never lost. For those keeping count I read this twice during the year. 8/10.

Love and Mr. Lewisham, H.G. Wells – I fancied reading some of Wells’ non-SciFi fiction. This was an OK read, a bit dated, but still relateable emotionally. It concerns the eponymous Mr. Lewisham and his pursuit of his rigid “Plan” for his life which become derailed when he meets and falls in love with a woman. It’s about how his attitudes change as his life circumstances do. 6/10

Space Captain Smith, Toby Frost – a SciFi spoof. Sort of “Flashman in space” (though I’ve never read the Flashman books). I felt like something lighter and this was. The tone wandered a bit as Frost chose to exploit all possibilities for spoofing, even when the genre was a bit different. Still fun and readable. 7/10

Uprooted, Naomi Novik – fantasy set in a world where the “Dragon” (a local magician) takes one girl every ten years to his castle. This is in exchange for keeping the people safe from the Wood. This was uneven for me. Parts of it were excellent, parts were tedious descriptions of magic use in far more detail than I needed. So overall 7/10.

The Tiny Wife, Andrew Kaufman – I think you either enjoy Kaufman’s little flights of fancy and not quite allegories, or you don’t. Fortunately I do.  My favourite of his is The Waterproof Bible but this is fun, short and has some nice illustrations. I particularly liked the bit about the woman who found God. He was under the sofa. 8/10

Rivers of London, Ben Aaronovitch – this was a re-read of the PC Grant books which was supposed to go straight on to reading the ones I haven’t yet read. However I only managed to complete this one. Very much enjoyed it though. See original review 9/10

The Internet is Not the Answer, Andrew Keen – a non-fiction book! It’s a sort of antidote to the sometimes utopian idea that the internet (and related technologies) will solve all our problems. Keen argues that far from doing that they make some things (e.g. wealth inequality) worse. However he doesn’t really have any alternative answers so that was a bit frustrating. The one take away I had is that Amazon is large but in comparison to revenues it has tiny profits, Facebook is an order of magnitude bigger and Google is just huge. 7/10

Time and Time Again, Ben Elton – haven’t read an Elton book in a while. I used to be quite the fan but this is the first of his I’ve read in the era of my blogging. Story is that a ex-special forces soldier in the near future gets sent back in time to prevent the First World War from happening. I enjoyed this quite a bit. The period obviously fascinates Elton as does the way history inter-connects (he has fun with the possible consequences of a world without WWI). Enjoyed it. 8/10

The Stainless Steel Rat, Harry Harrison – I was reminded of these books from when I read them in my youth. I decided to re-read and got through the first 4 (in publication order, the collection has them in chronological order of the character). 8/10 for the first and 7/10 for the other 3. A lot of the enjoyment was nostalgia but hey I’ll take it.

Challenger Deep, Neal Shusterman – story about a brilliant high-school pupil who starts behaving strangely. It covers the merging of his real world with an imaginary one created by his mental illness. I admired this more than liked it. It does manage to convey how it might feel to suffer from some of the issues the main character has, perhaps that was a little too close to home for me? It was short enough that I was able to power through. 7/10

How to be Good, Nick Hornby – I’d set this aside to read back when I was doing my re-read project. I decided to read it on a whim when I was enjoying my new found I-can-read-what-I-like spirit. I enjoyed it but it confirmed it space on my list of Hornby’s merely good books. Given that it was contemporary at the turn of the 21st century there were also some details that seemed odd or quaint in today’s terms (similar to how I felt re-reading My Lengendary Girlfriend) 6/10

Touch, Claire North – I enjoyed The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August and saw this at the library so thought I’d give it a go. Actually I listened to most of it via audiobook on my drive north to see my parents over Xmas. I have to say it took an effort to finish it. The story concerns “ghosts” who are people who can takeover other people’s bodies by touch. They no longer have bodies of their own so they move from one host to another. Sometimes it’s a quick stay, very quick if used as a vector to another more suitable body, and sometimes they live a significant portion of a host’s life for them. I liked the idea and to a point the execution but it felt like it went on longer than it needed to. A lot of the switching felt like an excuse for a travelogue. 6/10

Just One Damned Thing After Another (The Chronicles of St. Mary’s Series), Jodi Taylor – St. Mary’s is an “historical research” institute. What that means to the outside world is they somehow come up with more historical evidence and information than has hitherto been found. What it is in fact is a group of historians and technicians using time-travel to find out more about the past. This is the first of many stories in this world. It has its Harry Potter style learning section. It has, of course, a trip back to the Jurassic to see dinosaurs. It also has a thriller-ish story of outside forces that mean harm to St. Mary’s. I felt like this would be a fun romp like Space Captain Smith, and it was in places. However it’s also quite dark in places. Danger is real, people actually die and very difficult issues are dealt with. But it is worth reading. 7/10

Next, and finally, the return of the “Melissa” awards.

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2015 Reading Round-up 2 – Figures!

Oh, how much virtual ink have I spilled over the years waxing lyrical about my spreadsheet! So no reading round-up would be complete without a summary of last year’s key figures. That said I don’t have the enthusiasm for it that I once did. I still like recording it, and seeing my progress over the year, but I’m not sure if anyone else really cares – we’ll see I guess.

So I do have a 2014 spreadsheet but it’s incomplete. So here’s a comparison with 2013:

2015 2013
Total reading time 227:59:00 224:29:00
Mins per/day 38 37
Pages/hour 47 44
Pages read 10656 9918
Pages that count 10003 8961
Pages/day 29.36 27.32
Books 31 28
Av. length 315.84 313.07
One book every … days 11.71 12.96
Reading days 153 150
Time per/reading day 01:29:24 01:29:48
Pages/reading day 70 66
Longest gap 33 20
Av score (/10) 7.2 7.0
“25 Books” score 64 55

The thing that jumps out at me there is that there’s virtually no difference. I managed to read 3 more books but did it mostly by reading a little bit faster.

The “25 Books” score goes back to my original reading target blog project of 2009 and the rules I established there. According to the current version of the formula, I get 1 pt per 100pages over 5000 that I read, 1 pt per days read over 85 (to a maximum of 15), and either 1, 2, 5 or 10 pts based on average length (the thresholds are 300,325,350, 375 and 500). I don’t pay much attention to it any more but the spreadsheet calculates it so it’s easy to report.

Despite my best efforts my “everything is a 7” theory of scoring seems to hold true. I did have a 9 this year, but also a few 6s. The rest were 7s and 8s. This is always going to be skewed by the fact that a 5 or below would need an extra special reason to finish it. Especially now with my more relaxed attitude.

Anyway, that’s the numbers if you care, next is the books themselves!

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2015 Reading Round-up 1 – General Thoughts

Well, regardless of whatever else I do with my blog I always knew this would be the first post of 2016.

The headline is: I read 31 books last year and I am pleased with that!

General Observations

Before I dive into the books I read and the figures, a few thoughts. I am happy as I say with how much I read but also how I read. I seem to have re-gained a joy in reading. I’m also stressing less about how much I read, what to read next and whether to abandon a book. I haven’t seriously looked at my TBR in months.

I’ve been using the library more – mainly cos it’s a nice place to hang out when I’m at a loose end on a weekend, but hanging out leads to borrowing books – but I have still been buying new ebooks. I do try to avoid it but honestly it’s no tragedy if I buy a book for 99p (or even £2.99) and never read it. It’s like Netflix – I’m paying to have access to a book I may read one day.

What hasn’t changed is my memory. One of the things that went along with my I-don’t-seem-to-enjoy-reading-anymore whines was my now terrible short term memory. The fact that I only have to put a book down for a couple of days to have lost significant details, and that even with a longer book read continuously I still lose parts of the beginning by the end. I think it’s an age thing. Maybe I can improve it by getting more sleep and drinking more water. But it’s not as much a detriment to my enjoyment as it seemed.

Truth is I was depressed. And anxious. And those things don’t lend themselves to the mental effort of imagination that reading a book requires. But I’ve recovered somewhat and the enjoyment has come back.

After some thought I’ve decided to split this post into sections. Next up is figures!

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New Blog (Same as the Old Blog)

Hi. Welcome. If you’re new, doubly welcome.

This is the new home for my blog. Which I do intend to update more than once a year, honest! I’m still thinking about what with exactly but that’s part of the fun, the mystery, the excitement.

I started this blog back in 2003 on LiveJournal. I wanted to “join the conversation” that had moved off of the usenet newsgroups I used to follow. Later (can’t be bothered to check the date) I moved it off LJ when I got frustrated with the formatting (and there wasn’t much “conversation” happening anyway).

And now to here.

For now I’ve copied it across and kept things “as is”. I may decide to tweak the look and feel – or completely overhaul it. We’ll see. As I said, fun, mystery and excitement!

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