Some More Thoughts

I’ve watched another three episodes of season 7 of Buffy. But I still feel like I’m not really committed.

Here’s why:

It’s not having the impact it should. I never put S7 at the top of my personal list of Buffy seasons but it wasn’t bottom either. And I defended it against those who thought it had lost the former glory. But watching these first 4 eps I’m struck by how not amazing they are. Not even sure they’re that good. They’re OK.

I think a lot of what I enjoyed about them before came from being immersed in the show and being a fan. So there are lines or character moments that you like because it’s such a Xander thing to say, or Anya’s being Anya. The throw-away funny lines aren’t quite as funny somehow.

Now my brain tries to tell me that a way to fix this is to re-watch earlier seasons. Maybe start at 6 or 5 or 4. So you build up that immersion again. Trouble is the further back you go the more well-worn they are. There are some – still I believe – truly great eps back there, but they’re also ones I’ve watch a lot. And if I really go back (to S1) I’m concerned I might trigger emotional memories of that time and to be honest… well my Buffy fandom was an escape from everything my life wasn’t at the time. I had run away from God and the church. I had no real friends (this was before Melissa). I was lonely.

Does that mean I’ll never re-visit the earlier seasons? Maybe. Maybe I will when even more time has passed.

Will I carry on with S7? I think so. For now. Ep 5 was a favourite when I first saw it. One of the few I watched a few times. It was also one with a lot of “fan service” in it. It’ll be interesting to see if it still has the same impact when my fanishness has waned.

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