Last night my mam asked me if I’d send her some “before and after” type pictures so she could show them to some relatives that are coming over at the weekend. She wants to show them how well I’m doing. I’m quite touched and flattered by that.
It’s been a better week (actually having lost weight again). I hope I can keep it up this time.
Weekly loss: 1.9kg (4.2lb)
Total loss: 39.5kg (87.1lb or 6st 3lb)
To target: 28.4kg (62.6lb or 4st 6lb)
Current weight: 104.6kg (230lb or 16st 6lb)
Another bad week – actually a week off the diet in effect because I started with 3 days of freebies (a work conference) then had a stressful couple of days that I took out on alcohol and food, then got ill and then it was the weekend…
Anyway I’m back on the horse again now and glad that I only put on a relatively small amount. Probably means there will be some carry over until next week.
Weekly loss: -0.7kg (-1.5lb)
Total loss: 37.6kg (82.9lb or 5st 13lb)
To target: 30.3kg (66.8lb or 4st 10lb)
Current weight: 106.5kg (234lb or 16st 10lb)
Despite lukewarm reviews I had high-ish hopes for this movie – at least in a stay-in-and-slob-out-feel-good-waste-of-time kind of way. Firstly it’s the kind of movie I’ve liked in the past – gentle rom-com with young attractive leads – and second I liked Michael Cera in Juno. So did it live up to my modest expectations?
Not quite.
It reminds me of those movies from the eighties that involve some kind of journey – Adventures in Babysitting; Blind Date; Planes, Trains and Automobiles; and even Risky Business. Here the MacGuffin is the quest for a secret gig by a cool on-the-up band. Michael Cera’s Nick and Kat Dennings’ Norah are on the hunt for this gig and along the way they share some fun, grow a little closer, there’s misunderstanding then… well you can guess the rest, it’s a rom-com right?
The leads are likeable enough but I can decide if the lack of spark between them is the fault of the un-inspired script of just that missing je ne sais quoix they call chemistry. The film also suffers from not really knowing what it wants to be tonally – there are elements of gross-out comedy, slapstick and as mentioned, following the leads’ strengths, a very gentle burgeoning teen romance. It never quite meshes but one would be expecting a lot to think that it might – I blame, as ever, the legacy of American Pie for that.
It’s also the fact that none of the necessary non-Nick, non-Norah scenes are that memorable or interesting. The obligatory comedy sidekicks are neither endearing nor outrageous enough. The funny set-pieces aren’t funny enough.
Perhaps notable is the sex scene, not for any lascivious reasons – it was reasonably discreetly done – but for message it conveyed. The idea that “it’s in his kiss” is used in many rom-coms – they use the song in Adventures in Babysitting – but this was the first time I seen a movie where “you’ll know he’s the one if he can give you an orgasm” was the message. And as this was – of course – their first mutual experience that’s kind of unhelpful and unrealistic. But it is the logical extension of what Hollywood has been saying about romance for years I suppose. I dunno though there’s room in the subtlety for a little more realistic fantasy.
5/10 – vaguely likeable, almost entirely unmemorable and done better elsewhere.
…and by ‘spaces’ I really mean weeks (it’s a board game reference I guess).
After last week’s mega-loss I put it all back on and a bit more. Not really sure how. I know that yesterday I binged but that was partly a consequence of see my weight go up all week even though I was sticking to the diet. Maybe that is finally a case for not weighing myself every day.
Anyway let’s keep this short but bitter. Here’s the numbers:
Weekly loss: -2.9kg (-6.4lb)
Total loss: 38.3kg (84.4lb or 6st)
To target: 29.6kg (65.2lb or 4st 9lb)
Current weight: 105.8kg (233lb or 16st 9lb)
I had a bit of a weird experience yesterday. A couple of weeks ago I did a lot of laundry. I washed virtually everything I own. And yesterday I finally sorted through it (except stuff I’d worn in the meantime which was waiting to be washed again naturally). I sorted through it with the intention of collecting together stuff I was ready to throw out/give to the charity shop.
A couple of things will explain why this weird.
Over the years as I slowly put on weight I gradually wore less nice clothes. I am not exactly blessed with a keen fashion sense anyway but the bigger I got the harder I found it to find stuff I wanted to wear. After a while I was almost just happy to find anything in my size. I used to hate clothes shopping because I found it so humiliating. Then one day, like a revelation, it hit me – the internet. Surely there were “big and tall” shops online? D’oh! Why hadn’t I thought of that before? It killed two birds with one stone – actual choice in my size and not having to go to a real bricks and mortar shop (with flesh and blood assistants).
Of course there were – though some that claim to be “big and tall” are pretty short and narrow on choice themselves. Even so I discovered a few key places and used my credit card freely to buy some boring conservative clothes in dark colours – but nicely made and tha fit me well. It was quite a confidence boost in a way I hadn’t realised I’d been missing.
That was only a few months before I started dieting. Most of the clothes from that era fit me at my biggest. When I started dieting I deliberately didn’t buy any new clothes at first, and when I pretty much had to I bought cheapish ones figuring I’d grow out of them pretty quickly. It seemed like a waste to spend loads on clothes I’d be too small for in a couple of months. (I’ve gone from a 48in down to a 38in waist in the last 7 months and have had trousers at both those and every size in between.) I always thought a clothes shopping expedition would be part of celebrating hitting my target.
Put this together and what do you have? It means most of my nicer clothes are big and the ones that still fit me are either old and a bit crappy (when I was in that getting-bigger-who-cares phase) or newer and cheap.
So what I thought would feel good – the tangible evidence of so much progress – was at the same time a little sad – giving away clothes that I liked and made me feel good about myself when I’d needed to.
So it was a bit weird.
I think I need to go shopping – buy the odd thing or two that I really like. Even if I won’t be able to wear it for long – who cares? I deserve it.
Oh yeah – numbers –
Weekly loss: 2.2kg (4.9lb)
Total loss: 41.2kg (90.8lb or 6st 7lb)
To target: 26.7kg (58.9lb or 4st 2lb)
Current weight: 102.9kg (226lb or 16st 2lb)
Big drop huh? Am I concerned? Worried about loose skin? A little. But I started morning exercises again today – sit-ups, press-ups and now toe-touching too – designed to at least give that area a bit of stretching. The loss over the last two weeks is about 2.5lb/week so that’s not too bad. I’m keeping an eye on it. I’m reducing my evening walk a little – trying to keep it to an hour – so hopefully that’ll allow me to ease back a little.
To be honest though – I quite like the fact that I’ve had a big loss. Overall I’ve been slowing and this puts me back on track for a before-Christmas hitting of target.
In case you haven’t heard the rights-holders to the Buffy franchise are thinking of “rebooting” Buffy with a movie – without involving Joss Whedon. It wouldn’t star Sarah-Michelle Gellar and familiar characters like Willow, Giles and Xander would not be in the script.
And I think it might not be bad idea.
Heresy? Unthinkable? Me, a self-proclaimed fan of all thing Whedon suggesting that this travesty not only be allowed to continue but that it might actually be a good thing?
Well almost.
At the very least I think the unthinkable should be thought about and that contemplating heresy is good for the soul every now and then. One of my favourite Depeche Mode songs is “Somebody” which describes the kind of person the singer is looking for and includes the lines:
Someone who’ll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I think it’s a truly valuable thing to be able to sympathise with a radically opposing viewpoint. To understand how someone could get there even if you couldn’t yourself.
So that’s the first thing.
Film-making is probably hard. In fact I’m pretty sure it is. But from the little I know and have heard/read that’s nothing compared with actually getting them made in the first place. Most films never get made. Most professional screenwriters have sold scripts that’ll never see a screen. Most actors and directors – big names with a successful track record – have projects that they’ve never quite managed to get made. And of the tiny number that do get made, most are unsuccessful – critically and financially. Remember Sturgeon’s Law – 95% of everything is crap.
That’s the second thing. Try to keep these in mind when thinking about the possibility of a Buffy movie.
There have of course been rumours of a Buffy movie for years. And they’ve been just that – groundless rumours, based not on real facts but speculation and fan longing. I can understand this. I too felt a loss when Buffy ended. I can understand wanting there to be more.
But that’s the very reason I never wanted to see a Buffy movie (though of course I would have gone to see one if it had been made). Because I love movies and have done since long before I ever heard of the idea of Vampire Slayers. A Buffy movie would have been more of the TV show and TV shows are not movies – one is on-going stories, dealing with big themes but examining them on an everyday scale in sometimes minute detail. The other is epic and grand with sweeping huge brushstrokes.
Trying to make a movie that fulfils the longing of fans to see “more” of their show and yet works as a movie in its own right is nigh on impossible. Joss almost succeeded with Serenity – I mean creatively it does work in both those ways but it was only a moderate box office success and made money on DVD and largely due to the buy-everything-Whedon fan behaviour.
Joss famously[*] said once that he “needed to give the fans what they need and not what they want.” He was referring to the fact that he couldn’t let the desires of fans to see certain outcomes in the on-going Buffy story dictate where that story went. It was creative suicide and it was actually less satisfying to those same fans in the end.
At least that’s how I’ve always read this comment.
Well not giving them what they want at this stage means not just not giving them a particular romantic coupling or other given story outcome – but not giving them “more Buffy” in the form of a movie that’s trying to carry on its back the weight of a 7-series TV show.
So Buffy needs to be left alone. Left in peace to fade gracefully in our collective memory.
…or it needs to be rebooted. Re-imagined. By someone far enough away from all the things that have been done with the franchise already to see it with fresh eyes. Already there are hints in the article that they would go darker, more of a genuine horror experience.
So no Xander, Willow or Giles – they’re all too comfy. It might even not be Buffy but another Slayer. Betty. Bertha. Belinda. Or Martha. OK – probably not the last one.
Whether this will lead to anything good who knows? But it’s an interesting idea. It might spark something strange and wonderful. Or it might just be a curate’s egg.
Joss doesn’t need Buffy. He’s got other ideas. Newer, fresher, dare I say, better ideas. If I ever doubted that Dr. Horrible confirmed it. Dollhouse started weak but got better and better.
Sure he still has Buffy stories left in him – but he’s got the perfect medium for that in the comic books. It’s an on-going episodic form, similar to the TV show.
Besides what he really needs is to be allowed to make great TV and Movies and I can’t help feeling that being associated largely with an ultra-loyal and sometimes not-so discriminating fanbase kind of gets in the way of that.
What about the fans? Don’t they deserve something? Anyway isn’t it crazy to take something so beloved and take away the thing that made it beloved? On a pure business level surely you want, you need, to please the fans?
No.
The Firefly fans were the most rabid of an already fearsome fanbase. They were as dedicated to their cause as any evangelical cult member. They tried their best to spread the gospel of Firefly-ness and Serenity. They went to see the movie multiple times, bought up extra tickets to give away, trying to convince everyone and anyone of its goodness. They did all this and yet they still couldn’t make the movie a hit.
The thing about Buffy is that it always managed to have a bigger cultural impact than was reflected by its core audience. References to Buffy, “the Scooby Gang” and “Buffy-esque” dialogue still crop up all over the place. There was an audience of casual viewers that had seen the odd episode and knew it was good. They were not fans but enjoyed it when it was on. They were also slightly put off by the really obsessive fanboys and girls.
Oh and there are millions of them.
All of which means that using the Buffy name, the “brand” to bring in the general populace could work even if you piss off the fans.
It could just work.
But it probably won’t – because even though this is not a groundless rumour, most movies don’t get made and of the ones that do, most aren’t any good. But I’m more stirred by the idea of someone else having a go at a reboot than more of the same. Leaving Joss free to do new things.
OK you can burn me at the stake now.
[*]For values of “famous” scaled to fit the relatively small world of Buffy online fandom. i.e. not very.
I’m going to try to be brief because I’ve got better things to be blogging about tonight and I’d really like to get to them. So…
It’s been another long weekend and a wild weekend, a weekend of “sin”[*] if you will. So another week of losing only a small token amount. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I feel a bit disappointed with myself. I feel like I’ve put back my reaching my target by a week etc. On the other, I feel like part of me wanted to slow down a bit.
Why? Well last week – week 35 – I lost 3.3 lbs, and I know from my daily weighing that up until thursday I was on track for even more this week. And that’s quite a lot, more than the 1-2lbs a week that is supposed to be for the best. And part of the reason I feel this is that I’ve started to notice some floppy flabby bits at my sides. They are, or will become, what is euphemistically called ‘loose skin’ – i.e. rolls of fat.
I’ve always had a bit of paranoia about loose skin since I realised it was a possibility shortly after I started. It’s not a foregone conclusion and even if I develop some it can eventually shrink back over time. I think on balance I’d probably rather be 12stone with a bit of loose skin than 16 without. But I’d rather not have it if I can help it.
And about the only things I can do to help it are exercise – which I’ve not been doing, walking yes, sit-ups no – drinking plenty of water possibly and slowing the rate to the mythical 1-2/lbs a week.
Which is possibly why the mixed feelings. Anyway, even if I do deliberately choose to slow down I think I ought to try to avoid the binge and fast method.
Weekly loss: 0.2kg (0.4lb)
Total loss: 39kg (86lb or 6st 2lb)
To target: 28.9kg (63.7lb or 4st 7lb)
Current weight: 105.1kg (231lb or 16st 7lb)
[*]about that title. It wasn’t really a weekend of sin. It wasn’t even really “sin”. I’ve always, quite deliberately, avoided using negative terms for eating too much. I prefer to talk of “freebies” and going over my “budget” of calories. Eating chocolate isn’t wrong any more than owning a nice car is wrong – but it may happen to be more than I can afford right now. Or I may prefer to spend my money on other things. Anyway I don’t really think eating too much is “sin”, but I couldn’t resist the title once I’d thought of it
So I finally hit 6 stone total loss. I feel like I’ve been on the verge of this for weeks so it’s good to finally get there. And in fact it’s been better than just that milestone, good as that is, I’ve also had a good week’s loss as you can see from below. I feel like I’m back on track.
I guess what did it was that I had – for the first time in ages – a week without freebies. I didn’t plan it that way really, I had tried to be stricter with the diet but I was also totally up for the pub friday lunchtime – but in the end I had too much work to go.
So what have we learnt? Weeks of slackness and too many freebies=little or no loss, a week of sticking to the diet = significant loss. So nothing we didn’t already know. It’s easy to get to this stage and think that things are slowing down because that’s the way it works – but if I go to the pub every week and have other freebies on top then of course I’m going to find it difficult to lose weight. It’s not rocket science.
Anyway here are some numbers:
Weekly loss: 1.5kg (3.3lb)
Total loss: 38.8kg (85.5lb or 6st 1lb)
To target: 29.1kg (64.1lb or 4st 8lb)
Current weight: 105.3kg (232lb or 16st 8lb)
As the observant will have noticed, 3+3+5+5+8+12=36 not 34. So it’s actually 10 weeks and counting not 12. Still the point about things slowing down stands, but it’s not quite as bad as it seems.
While we’re at it I’ve been thinking about a couple of other points:
Exercise – the ‘received’ wisdom is that exercise doesn’t contribute much to the weight-loss. I think this is a case where a wrong perception has swung too far the other way. I was looking at my spreadsheet and discovered that since I started this exercise has accounted for about 29lbs, i.e. 2 of the nearly 6 stone I’ve lost. This comes with the usual caveats about the accuracy of calorie counts on pedometer etc, but still…
Targets – I’ve been thinking more about 14stone as a target. I’m 39lbs away from that and there’s about 20 weeks until the end of Sept – which would be (roughly) the year mark. So even if it’s not my final target, a target of 14stone would be something good to focus on because it should happen this year. At 2lb/week I might even get there around the time of my one year anniversary – though I’m nervous of making it a time-and-weight target as that might be too much pressure.
And we can just see what 14stone looks and feels like. Of course part of the reason I’ve gone for 12 is that that’s what I need to get to to have a “normal” rather than “overweight” BMI. But then that’s BMI for you…
So this ‘rebooted’ thing doesn’t seem to be working. I had another ‘slack/wild/reckless/whatever’ weekend. After a pretty good week – meaning that overall I lost nothing and gained nothing this week. So I’m not going to do all the stats again – scroll down to Lesamy 33 if you want them.
And of course, as I’ve said before, the worst thing about that is that it just pushes back targets further and further. I seem to have been at nearly 6 stone total loss for weeks. I also made the mistake of calculating when I’d hit 12stone and it’s now looking like Feb ’10.
OK so I just (now) calculated how long each stone took to lose – 3 weeks each for the first 2, 5 weeks each for the next 2, 8 weeks for stone 5 and 12 weeks (so far!) for stone 6.
*sigh*
But the thing is it’s not really that the rate of loss has fallen per se, not when I stick to the diet. It’s that the number of slip-ups and over the top freebies and so on have increased. So if I’m going to keep this going and maintain 1-2lbs/week for the next 8-9 months then I really need to re-boot the reboot.
Mind you, I have wondered about my goal of 12 stone. Today I talked with a guy at work who’s been on a diet the last few weeks to lose a few extra pounds. He’s down to 12 stone he tells me. And he doesn’t really look overweight, slightest of slight potbellies perhaps. Thing is he’s probably 6 inches shorter than me and not a broad. So if that’s how 12 stone looks on his frame on me perhaps it’d be too skinny? I dunno I was 12 stone once and I thought I was overweight at the time.
Maybe I’ll see how I look/feel at 14stone. Which will still be some time off.