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Desks and Dreams

I had a lovely dream last night. I’ll tell you more about it in a moment. But first, some words justifying a picture.

I haven’t been blogging a lot lately but I have been busy. I’ve been doing stuff on the house. I’m trying to get all my furniture sorted and my spare room transformed into a room a guest could stay in rather than just a room full of boxes. In a few weeks I’ll have lived here for a year and it’ll be nice to feel like I’ve actually moved in!

Another thing I’ve been doing is I bought and assembled a desk. I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately and it’s nice to have a proper desk rather than the little folding table I was using. It was the desk in particular that caused me to re-arrange lots of furniture. I’ve turned my bedroom (the biggest room in the house) from bedroom/lounge to bedroom/office and am going to use the lounge as a lounge (what a concept! as my old boss used to say). I’ve also moved the mythtv box downstairs. So anyway I’m rather pleased with all this and here’s a picture of my desk:

My new desk

The other reason it deserves a pic is the inordinate amount of time it took to assemble. I don’t mind putting together flat-pack stuff but I do seem to be slow.

Back to dreams. I had a lovely dream last night. But before I get to it (!) something more general on dreams.

I was thinking about how we use the word “dream” in two different and distinct ways. Different and distinct to me anyway. There’s 1) the screen-in-your-head that plays random nonsense whilst you’re asleep and then there’s 2) the stuff we aspire to and hope for. I guess these are related. My dreams are always pretty random. I know that other people’s aren’t necessarily. M’s dreams are very coherent compared to mine. She’s told me she’s been dreaming lately of an event she’s worried about in real life. From what I understand it’s pretty much just playing out the scenario with a conclusion she’s nervous about.

When I dream it tends to be less straightforward. People morph into other people, strange context-switches occur, unusual things happen and seem normal. But having said that maybe that’s just the detail, the underlying dream can still be an expression of what’s on my mind.

So did I mention I had this lovely dream last night? Actually it was this morning. I’ve had a week of late nights and last night was a late one too, so I had a long lie-in. This dream was so nice that when I woke needing the loo, I got up, pee-ed, then got straight back into bed and continued the dream. Usually I can’t do that but this time I did.

The dream was basically this: I decided that I would just stop being worried about what people thought, that I would be less passive and I would just be more “fun”. So the dream sort of followed me going out for a day/evening doing various things. I was deliberately trying to be more extrovert. Not in a hey-look-at-me way, but in an attempt to get away from my usual hey-don’t-look-at -me way. I was aware that I might come across as wacky and weird and some people wouldn’t like it but I decided not to care and do it anyway.

And what happened is that I had a good time and that people liked it, liked me, liked being with me. And when I say people I of course mean women. There was one in particular who I was having a lot of fun with, who really liked me, and I liked her and I was really happy around. And when I woke up, it was her I wanted to get back to, spend more time with.

The thing I wondered about when I woke up properly was, was this just a dream in the 1) sense or is it also a 2) dream? Is my unconscious mind telling me something? It was lovely but in the real world I’ve been thinking a lot lately that I’m happy and that a relationship, whilst nice, would be a lot of work – both to find someone and the daily compromise to share your life with someone. But maybe that was all denial?

You may think this has nothing to do with desks. But being a writer is a 2) dream. Building a desk (and using it) is a real concrete expression of that. It’s a practical step I took to make my dream happen. It’s also a sign that I am prepared to come out and say this is what I want rather than cherish it as a secret desire but not do anything in case others tell me it’s stupid or wrong to think I could ever attain it, in case I tried and failed to get it. Interesting that in the dream I had to stop worrying what others thought in order to make myself more out-going and attractive.

But then it’s my unconscious so I would think that wouldn’t I?

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Post Some Pictures

So… it’s been a while. What have I been up to? Well before I get into that, M. shared some insight with me last night. “People,” she said, “like pictures.” She’s posting on her blog every day at the moment and won’t consider posting unless she has a photo to go with it. So I thought I’d give it a go.

As I said it’s been a while and this is a brief overview of what I’ve been doing in the past few weeks. In October I had a few weeks off work and visited friends in Newcastle and Edinburgh.


As usual I’ve done some tinkering with my MythTV box. Since I’ve not done so so far I may as well have a couple of gratuitous screenshots. Here’s the main menu –


Here’s the TV Guide


Here’s watching a recording with on-screen display


One of the major things I’ve done is implement auto shutdown and wakeup so that it saves power. To ensure that it actually shuts down it now boots into the ‘welcome’ screen instead of the frontend proper:


Another was to setup once again MythWeb which is a web interface to MythTV, one which can actually be used externally if so set up.


It’s very useful for checking upcoming shows and scheduling recordings. Both things which can be done through the normal interface but which can be more convenient through the web.

As well as set this up again (something I’d done before but lost when re-installing after putting the new disk in) I tweaked it a little. I added the pre-defined search “Whats New”



as this is one that I use on the ordinary interface


See, every few days I add to my list of what I want to record by checking the New Titles and Movies lists. On the ordinary interface this means paging down several screens worth of stuff I’ve already seen. On MythWeb I can just scroll smoothly in a browser. Much easier. Except that there was no equivalent to New Titles. (There was one called “New Titles/Premieres” which was only brand new shows. I called mine “Whats New” to avoid confusion.)

Any way apart from MythTV, I’ve also been spending a lot of time writing. I’ve re-joined AFO and having posted a story and many reviews.


So that’s a brief overview with lots of pretty pictures.

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Thinking about discspace (again)

To buy or not to buy a new harddrive?

Back in April when I bought the machine that would become my MythTV box I knew that 320Gb wasn’t huge (for Myth) but acceptable (and 3 times larger than the 100Gb across 2 disks I’d had up to then). But I always said I’d wait for a 750Gb drive to hit the £100 mark and buy one. The difference is I thought that would take until the end of the year but it’s here now. And my main drive is 9Gb (or 3-6 hours) off full. I say main drive because I’ve now got an external drive which holds my music, videos and archived recordings – i.e. older recordings which I’ve not yet watched but which have been pushed onto the slower external drive (they play fine, just take a second or two to start). In total I’ve got 500Gb used.

So 750Gb would only be a step up of 250Gb. I know, I know ‘only’ but in Myth terms it’s not huge. But it would allow me to bring my external drive stuff back on to an internal drive – which would make the whole thing run a little better (if I’m scrolling past a recording on the external drive it’s noticeably slower.) And it’d give me a little room for expansion.

So why not buy it? Well because I could wait and buy 1Tb in a few months for similar money (currently around £200) and because I’m still a little bit skint after buying the house and because it’s only a small step up in size. See if I bought a silly amount of disc – 5Tb say – then I could use Myth in a slightly different way – where you let it record all sorts of stuff, some based on generic rules (every new pilot, every film with a > 2.5 star rating etc) and then weed out what’s worth watching at your leisure. But ultimately, and especially since I’m not buying silly amounts of disc, if you record at a faster rate than you watch then you’re always going to run out of space eventually.

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Ship of Fools Sabbatical

I’m taking a break from the Ship of Fools, a website I’ve visited almost every day for about the past four years. Why? The short answer is that I don’t get much positive from it except to kill time, which isn’t that positive, especially when a lot of the time ‘killed’ is time I should be working – and I’ve started to feel like there’s a downside. Lately I’ve come away feeling slightly sad, vaguely upset and a little bit weary.

Before I delve into the long answer let me talk about what’s good about the Ship. The best thing about the Ship is that you can question any part of Christianity and be taken seriously. There are almost no taboos. If all you want from a forum is good rigorous debate then it’s hard to beat. Also it was the place I met M. It was the place that provided me with something of a sense of connection with others when I didn’t have that in real life.

However lately I’ve been noticing that I don’t get much out of it any more. I don’t think I ever felt the sense of community some do (I’ve had about a dozen PMs in those 4 years) and the little I did has gone. The very diversity of thought that is its strength has made the Ship a difficult place for someone, me, who doesn’t quite know what he believes. I fully accept that that’s my problem but I need to focus a little, maybe look at the conflicting traditions one by one. Establish a core of what I think and believe.

The biggest problem though is the attitudes of some of the posters (please note I said ‘some’). There’s a continual stream of low-level digs at Evangelicalism, and occasionally Charismaticism. It’s not unique to those groups but those are the ones I tend to notice, and feel more. I can sort of shrug it off, no big deal, but it makes me just a little tired, sad and angry. Since I don’t want to be feeling that I’m not reading the Ship for a while.

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How Much Have I Changed, and Do They Hate Me For It?

So I joined Facebook last night and I…

No, wait, something else first. Something related. Introductory.

So I’d pretty much decided that this blog was going to be about reviews. Mostly movie reviews with some TV. Mostly bad movie reviews. Deliberate ambiguity there – they’d be mostly bad movies ‘cos most movies are bad a la Sturgeon’s Law (95% of anything is crap)[1] – but they’d probably be bad reviews too. A kind of a gimick.

I also thought maybe having a scoring system where the worse the movie the more words the review can have. A gimick too far? Perhaps.

So having decided the substance of my blog – Faith and Personal Stuff being ruled out because a) it’s gotta be about one thing and b) I’ve got hardly anything to say about Faith and far too much to say about Personal Stuff.

So I joined Facebook last night and I realised I had something to say about Faith.

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That Ending

So, that ending. The final episode of Heroes. I finished watching it early hours of Monday morning and last couple of nights I’ve been too tired to report back.

(Oh and NEW BLOG! but that’s probably another post)

Well, there are two questions to answer about the final episode, does it avoid my so-called “Lost trap”? and is it any good?

However, before I get to those, since the main place I advertise my blog is SoF, and since many there are still watching Heroes (it just started on the BBC), I’ll do the decent thing. Only click on the ‘more’ link if you either already know, or don’t mind finding out what happened.

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Heroes

So I’ve been watching Heroes. Having no life and an internet connection, I’ve watched nearly all of Heroes.

I just wanted to pause here (3 episodes to go) to post a couple of thoughts. Heroes is good, very good. It reminds me of first season Lost – lots of characters, plot-heavy, high production values. However much as I love Lost it is a shaggy dog story. Almost every time you get new information you get more questions than answers. Heroes appears to be going somewhere. I’ll know in a couple of hours or so, but I hope that Heroes resists the temptation to spin out the story.

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Hermione didn’t die!

So I finished it. At around 7pm last night. No I didn’t put it off that long, I started reading almost straight away after the last entry but M. rang me when I was nearly done. So we discussed where she was up to and favourite bits, possible theories about the end, though since I was nearly there that part of the ‘discussion’ consisted of M. asking me questions I wasn’t allowed to answer. After we’d talked I finished the book.

First thing to say is that the ‘slashdot guy’ was lying.

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Why I’m not reading right now

I said I wasn’t going to do this but… well you’ll see why I did.

I’m on page 512 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows which has taken me a little over 12 hours in total. I’m averaging 41 pages/hour but it’s a big hardback so the pages are bigger. I estimate I have about 2 1/4 hours of reading left. Despite what you may (or I would’ve) guessed I actually have been up since about 10:30 and I’m where I was in the book when I went to bed. I got up, messed around on the computer for a while, went out to the shop, came back, made lunch/breakfast and then decided, despite what I’d originally intended, to write my blog.

In other words I’m putting off reading the final 95 pages. The question is: why?

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Distraction, Dilemma, Decision


I said a few days ago that I’d read a lot less because of a ‘distraction’ and that I’d tell you what it was later. So later is now.

You may be surprised to learn that I was never a particularly big Harry Potter fan. I gave up a couple of times on the early books. I started reading them again earlier this year because M. is a huge fan and it gave us something to discuss. So back in May I decided to pre-order Deathly Hallows from Amazon because I could save money that way. I imagined at the time that I’d be quite happy to read it a few days or weeks after it came out – not being such a huge fan.