I had a bit of a weird experience yesterday. A couple of weeks ago I did a lot of laundry. I washed virtually everything I own. And yesterday I finally sorted through it (except stuff I’d worn in the meantime which was waiting to be washed again naturally). I sorted through it with the intention of collecting together stuff I was ready to throw out/give to the charity shop.
A couple of things will explain why this weird.
Over the years as I slowly put on weight I gradually wore less nice clothes. I am not exactly blessed with a keen fashion sense anyway but the bigger I got the harder I found it to find stuff I wanted to wear. After a while I was almost just happy to find anything in my size. I used to hate clothes shopping because I found it so humiliating. Then one day, like a revelation, it hit me – the internet. Surely there were “big and tall” shops online? D’oh! Why hadn’t I thought of that before? It killed two birds with one stone – actual choice in my size and not having to go to a real bricks and mortar shop (with flesh and blood assistants).
Of course there were – though some that claim to be “big and tall” are pretty short and narrow on choice themselves. Even so I discovered a few key places and used my credit card freely to buy some boring conservative clothes in dark colours – but nicely made and tha fit me well. It was quite a confidence boost in a way I hadn’t realised I’d been missing.
That was only a few months before I started dieting. Most of the clothes from that era fit me at my biggest. When I started dieting I deliberately didn’t buy any new clothes at first, and when I pretty much had to I bought cheapish ones figuring I’d grow out of them pretty quickly. It seemed like a waste to spend loads on clothes I’d be too small for in a couple of months. (I’ve gone from a 48in down to a 38in waist in the last 7 months and have had trousers at both those and every size in between.) I always thought a clothes shopping expedition would be part of celebrating hitting my target.
Put this together and what do you have? It means most of my nicer clothes are big and the ones that still fit me are either old and a bit crappy (when I was in that getting-bigger-who-cares phase) or newer and cheap.
So what I thought would feel good – the tangible evidence of so much progress – was at the same time a little sad – giving away clothes that I liked and made me feel good about myself when I’d needed to.
So it was a bit weird.
I think I need to go shopping – buy the odd thing or two that I really like. Even if I won’t be able to wear it for long – who cares? I deserve it.
Oh yeah – numbers –
Weekly loss: 2.2kg (4.9lb)
Total loss: 41.2kg (90.8lb or 6st 7lb)
To target: 26.7kg (58.9lb or 4st 2lb)
Current weight: 102.9kg (226lb or 16st 2lb)
Big drop huh? Am I concerned? Worried about loose skin? A little. But I started morning exercises again today – sit-ups, press-ups and now toe-touching too – designed to at least give that area a bit of stretching. The loss over the last two weeks is about 2.5lb/week so that’s not too bad. I’m keeping an eye on it. I’m reducing my evening walk a little – trying to keep it to an hour – so hopefully that’ll allow me to ease back a little.
To be honest though – I quite like the fact that I’ve had a big loss. Overall I’ve been slowing and this puts me back on track for a before-Christmas hitting of target.
