6000 Pages 2011, Carpe Jugulum – Terry Pratchett (pages 4402-4826)

Carpe Jugulum is the 23rd Discworld book and as you’d expect from the title is concerns vampires (or vampyres as they prefer it – they’re trying to be “modern”). It’s also a Lancre Witches book which is a good thing as I’m a fan of Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg and Wyrd Sisters is probably my 2nd favourite Discworld book. (Mort, since you ask).

The book begins with the preparations for the christening of King Verence and Queen Magrat’s baby. Unfortunately the King invited a family of vampire nobility and inviting vampires in is one thing we all know you shouldn’t do. Perhaps even worse is that although they sent an invite to Granny Weatherwax it went astray. Not inviting the Kingdom’s most powerful witch may have been as catastrophic as inviting blood-sucking fiends.

Into all this arrives an Omnian priest Mightily Oats who has been summoned to perform the christening. He’s an interesting character defined more by lack of certainty than actual belief. Oh and we have the 4th member of the Lancre coven, Agnes Nitt, who’s in two minds about everything, literally.

Carpe Jugulum is certainly a lot of fun. It has some interesting things to say about Faith. I’m not sure there was anything radically new in it. As I’ve said by this stage, book 23, we’ve touched on most of Pratchett’s favourite subjects before, so there’s a lot of familiar ground. But these are characters I enjoy spending time with. I liked the vampires, I like Agnes and I still like Nanny and Granny – though her black-and-white belief in her own rightness pushed me on that.

As with other recent Discworld reads I found I enjoyed the story more than the humour which felt a little predictable in its patterns and rhythms, though there were still laugh out loud moments such as:

‘Indeed?’ said the Count, turning to his son. ‘Right about what, prey?’

I smiled at the subtlety.

8/10 – a fun romp with enjoyable characters and some thoughtful ideas about faith, right and wrong – and the importance of a nice cup of tea.

25 Books, book 7, Binary – The Vaccinator/Andy Warhol’s Dracula

This book is actually a slim volume containing two longish short stories – one from Michael Marshall Smith and one from Kim Newman. I bought it for the Smith one but have just finished both and so I’m including it in my 25 books list.

The Vaccinator

It’s hard to know what to say about this story. It’s about a guy living in the Florida Keys who hires himself out as a kind of hostage negotiator for a very particular kind of ‘kidnappings’ as he refers to them (you’ll probably know them by another phrase).

The main character is engaging – he’s one of those ultra-competent macho men that are up to any challenge. He’s not as entertaining as Stark – my favourite Smith character from Only Forward, but that would be a tall order. It’s fun and quirky and doesn’t take itself too seriously, though it’s not an outright comedy either. Worth checking out if you’re a fan or a Smith completist.

6/10

Andy Warhol’s Dracula

This is a vampire story set in the late 70s. It mixes a straight-forward narrative with excerpts from an academic paper on the life and work of Andy Warhol – who was a vampire. Or at least in this alternate world he was.

Considering that I’m such a huge fan of Buffy you might find it odd that I generally avoid vampire fiction whether in movie, TV or book form. There’s just so much of it and so much of it isn’t that original. Given that, and given that I didn’t really care for the interruptions to the story that the academic paper provides, I was a little surprised to find myself won over by this. Even more so because the writing generally was so ‘busy’ – the exact opposite of the kind of spare, simple prose I think I like. Florid descriptions and colourful word-pictures abounded.

In the end though it had an engaging main character and an intriguing concept. Johnny Pop is a vampire who at the outset kills a punk girl Nancy and frames her drug-addled boyfriend Sid for it. The story goes on to chart his rise in the 70s nightlife of New York as he creates the drug ‘drac’ which is a form of powdered vampire blood that allows you to feel the rush of being a nosferatu for a night.

This is an alternate reality where not only do vampires exist and are widely known about, almost accepted, but also is peopled with a wide variety of characters from fiction and celebrities from our world. I guess it makes sense – Warhol is someone who made art using figures from popular culture, someone who arguably ‘fed’ off the celebrity of others, and so it’s fitting that in this world where he’s a literal vampire we bump into Travis Bickle and Tony Manero , as well as Blondie, Sid and Nancy and a whole host of others.

Spotting the references was fun – I had to look up a couple and I’m sure there’s ones I missed – but in the end it was the story that pulled me through. I did want to know what happened next.

8/10